Amazing how each day so many things come and go around and through me... Around me, in terms of happenings at work, home, geographical surroundings, and the world seen cybernetically from my desktop**; through me in terms of mind, heart, body and soul***. Today I'm meandering through the mish-mash, in hopes of sorting it out and deciphering it for myself and anyone else who cares to know.
I'm going to start with my trials and tribulations in trying to paint
Girl Vexed: the first result, begun last year, was horrendous.
But I didn't give up. I just put her on hold, and then, gathering the determination, tried a second time. I got this far and set her aside, not wanting to do any more for fear of botching her up:
So there sat the unfinished
Girl Vexed on my bookshelf for many months. A week ago I finally got up the nerve to do something about her and enthusiastically went back to work on her, which resulted in what I thought was an almost finished product. I was excited and proud, and I took a picture of her. When I got home, I put the picture on my computer screen and what I saw there, totally deflated my ego:
As anyone can see, she's still not finished.... and neither am I. You'll understand if you see the original, which I saw at a book-fair. It was the cover portrait of a novel for teenagers. I almost bought the novel, just for the picture, but instead, googled the illustrator and found his original painting, which you can see
here.
Now the reason that I became fascinated with that cover portrait, was because it brought to mind a moment I'll never forget and the picture I took of it: the original Girl Vexed, Fned at age 11, righteous and indignant over some incident during a vacation trip, and showing it so clearly in her stance next to the car:
Okay, to make the correlation between my obsession with that painting and what's going on in the rest of my life, let's just say that they are both works in progress, full of uncertain steps, exhilarating moments, and constant modification. For one thing, I've been carrying aound the idea of changing my physical surroundings. It's a thrilling prospect. I have entertained the idea, proposed it tentatively, proposed it more confidently, and now see it as a yes. I'm going to take a different path for awhile... put myself on the edge and force myself to act. (I hope I will have finished
Girl Vexed by the time I leave!).
Which brings me to my current work situation... like the ups and downs I have in my dealings with
Girl Vexed, so have I had reductions, depressions, unexpected offers, and new ideas and projects in my work routine. It all seems to be coinciding with my desire to change my physical surroundings, so that is very nice. I'm more and more intrigued by the possibilities!
To add another link to this chain: my home situation... lots to do there, not only in terms of home improvements, but in official standing... now that it seems I will have a few weeks of limbo before actually making my move, I'll be able to tackle those things... I'm psyched about it, making my list of priorities and general things to do...
Finally, to finish laying out the first area of amazing happenings (see above**), there's all the cyberstuff that is filling my time at the computer. I have found the most beautiful music, art, and readings lately. I'd just like to show you a few of them. This link goes to an incredibly beautiful ballet scene - and I'm not even into ballet - but this!!! Well, see for yourself!...
here
Another day, Sam, who's been playing guitar more and more lately, surprised me with this link to music that wowed me:
here
It's amazing how internet can bring you information, entertainment, solutions and valuable knowledge. Still, I can't help but realize that it is also full of potential dangers. Subscribing, unsubscribing, overdosing on online shopping, the facebook craze (TMI is how I see that at times), not to mention the amount of time I spend on the computer because of all my browsing. If I haven't blogged recently, it's mostly due to the fact that I was trying to cut down on my computer time. For example, I got so intensely involved with a song that I wanted to be able to
sing, that I ended up going from
this website to many others, which all focused on tenderness and romance, which in a deliciously cozy way, made my heart happy. Since I'm not out there having my own love-life, theirs kind of fed me for awhile.... , but of course, vicarious love can only take you so far.
Life is for living, or if you're going to fantasize, make up your own fantasy! So I started writing again, which of course got me enjoying my creative streak, and I also started studying Portuguese, for intellectual stimulation. Writing nourishes my soul and learning another language nourishes my mind! I'm still studying German, so the combination, between speaking Spanish and English all day, is totally fascinating!
So, that left my body (see above***).
For my body's sake, I began walk/running about a month ago... In fact, I need to finish this blog right now precisely because it's a glorious day and I want to go out for a nice walk/run with the dogs.
Have a great day everyone; no, better yet, have an amazing one!
